[Why is no one awake to witness how cool they look and how cool they will look later fighting lions... Instead they just get to trample on a few other people hopefully as they nyoom, leaving cut grass and slash marks of varying depths in their wake. THEIR FUCKING INJURIES THOUGH. GOD. Lucas takes a slash to the tiddy because i think it would be very funny to see if people let him cover his chest for chastity.
But he also freezes as the corgi comes romping over... Oh no... Some others are coming out of their little corgi houses... Several more are also starting to flock their way over a nearby hill on their little stubby legs, barking happily, mistaking this very cool anime brawl for corgi playtime. One is even bringing over its favorite ball... Please play fetch with me right now immediately, its big ol' corgi eyes seem to say...]
...Oh... Please don't—
[COME ANY CLOSER, BUT THEY ARE. He takes a hesitating step away and glances at Saber.]
[ they're shaking. this is so flippin' cute. this is so cute? saber wants to pet all of them so bad, but they are in the middle of a fight to the death... this is not the time, doggies.
the dog sets the ball down. saber slowly reaches down and picks it up before just
yeeting it the other side. the dogs all yip happily and chase after it. ]
[THIS IS SOOO CUTE. Lucas is so distracted by how cute this is that he forgets his worst nightmare is behind the next door.]
I'm so sorry—!
[TO THE SWEET CORGIS WHO ARE ROMPING AWAY... Even as more start coming from a distance to try surrounding them...
BOTH OF THEM JUST FLEEING FASTLY FOR THE DOOR it's fine. GOOBY SWEET CORGIS. They cleanly escape before Saber can also leave tear evidence... And now they're in the Wild West car and Lucas immediately pulls back with a jerk as he realizes where they are.
Fortunately there are no bugs in the immediate area, though... But as he goes in for another attack as soon as they're safely away from corgis, there is such frenetic bug hatred energy in his movements.]
saber has to leap back to avoid the hit from getting them in the neck, but it does slice the (picks randomly) bottom of their chin. sure. they just wipe at the blood before they rush off to try to create more distance between them, running for one of the buildings.
[OUR FUCKING CORGIS. He gives chase... ZOOMS through the dusty paths not leaving any foot trails fuck your feet
Is it parkour time... They can just fucking fight around one of these buildings and knock off some shingles and break some windows and leave slashes on tables and shit. ONCE AGAIN THEY LOOK SOOO COOL AND NO ONE IS HERE TO SEE IT. Truly the biggest tragedy of this murder, everyone is missing out on witnessing a sick fight.]
[ME LITERALLY LIKE IT IS SO TUESDAY MY DUDES PRIES MYSELF AWAY FROM BOTH THE MINGLE AND ALSO MY WORKLOAD WHICH JUST FLEW AWAY FROM ME
Anyway this isn't real evidence bc no one will check but he can stumble and run into something ass-first for a fresh ass bruise bc i have a brand to maintain. REAL EVIDENCE TO FOLLOW. Though he does briefly pause in his attacks after he regains his balance and pulls his sword back up into a readying to attack posture.]
Afflicted...? Of course not... For the first time in weeks, I can finally see clearly...
but okay. they squint at him, trying to figure out what is going on here. what he said doesn't sound like someone who doesn't have an affliction, but honestly? whether or not they can figure this out isn't really at the top of their priority list. ]
... I see. Well, I am sorry for this, Lucas.
[ they will move to attack first, but instead of trying to stab they just kick a barrel at him. there's.... bugs on it. ]
[MY BRAND. keeps typing my brain first that as well
BUT HELP!!!! Lucas reflexively moves like he's going to slash at the barrel but immediately FREEZES WHEN HE SEES IT'S COVERED IN BUGS. HE'S SO FUCKING PETRIFIED HE JUST HULK SLAMS THIS BARREL INTO THE GROUND goes to add that to evidence i guess. Also he absolutely tears up over this. Just stands there in shock staring at these bugs on the ground in paralytic fear that overrides even the Bourreau instinct. Tastee tears on the ground i hope someone tries to eat these.
there are many things saber could do right now. the main, smart thing would be to run away and escape before lucas returns to his senses. after all, the notice board pointed out all of those super useful hiding spots to use!!
unfortunately, saber is not a coward and they do not believe in running from a fight, so they are just going to run after lucas. help. get back here. ]
[That notice board message was so funny, i hope it was a targeted attack against someone or an elaborate part of a different murder.
HOW THE TURNS HAVE TABLED THOUGH. i guess they just run entirely through the convention car Lucas really just said wholeass FUCK those BUGS so hard that he dashed through an entire location. But once he reaches the Italy car and has perhaps run a bit, he's finally in a less ridiculously afraid state of existence and thinks to turn back around so he can finish what he started. Lucas you fool. The blood droplets he's been dripping this whole time that I keep forgetting to mention are even bigger after all that dashing, though.
Nearby, there is the canal with its gondola boats... They beckon invitingly...]
[HE DOESN'T so when they fucking charge in he only barely manages to perry and dodge. He clips the sword upward and it slices into his neck a bit and he just STUMBLES BACK INTO THIS GONDOLA oh no how could this have happened. Fortunately it doesn't rock and tip over. The invisible gondola rider that i assume propels these boats through the canal is just waiting for Saber to join because they are obviously just going sight-seeing!!]
WAHOO!! THE GONDOLA TAKES OFF. Lucas blocks the strike and goes in for another. They're like 2 of the 3 musketeers just getting into some wacky swordfighting shenanigans on the canal as their stupid little boat tips and rocks. They are probably going to put so many holes through this wood. Once again they are looking sooo cool though. Must emphasize what a tragedy it is that everyone is so asleep right now.
As they fight and make their way along the water, the arena comes into view up ahead.]
[ it's such a tragedy!! also we forgot to chop off saber's hair. well back in wild west area that happened and then bugs make a nice nest out of it. mods i am so sorry for this thread maybe you shouldn't use this.
but the fighting is getting rather intense for such a small boat... once they get close enough, their joint blows ends up cracking a giant hole into the gondola. ruh roh.
saber tries to jump out of it while also swiping at lucas. ]
[OH FUCK WE DID HELP I'M LOSING IT. SORRY MODS WE'RE DOING OUR BEST WITH OUR OWN CHAOS.
Well anyway this is fine. He dodges and almost falls into the water but manages to catch himself, but since he's busy with his balance, Saber can jump away and get some distance. LUCAS HOPS AFTER THEM.
And then just turns and picks the whole gondola up out of the water to throw it their way.]
saber is just going to try to jump out of the way, but some of the wood hits them... owie. saber will try to slash at him again, getting lucas in the ear. ]
[OWIE... There goes the little dangly bit of his earring, chopped off and flying into the gondola wreckage. His tendie bleeding earlobe... itai. Fortunately he does not seem to notice or care!
HE CAN'T LET SABER GET TOO FAR FROM THE WATER OR HOW WILL THEY THROW THEIR PHONE attacks more. Though at some point he slows a bit as he considers... like... maybe he should let them get their affairs in order... Leaps back a bit to put some distance between them, though he's still keeping his blade leveled their way.]
[There's a pause, like it's taking him a while to parse what they're saying or what he wants to say in return. Now that they're not in the middle of FIGHTING SO COOL-LIKE it's probably more clear that he's talking strangely, too; there's an airy, drifting quality to his voice, and he speaks slowly, like someone on the verge of falling asleep or having just woken up.]
...A peaceful passage is what I wish to give you, with no regrets... After all, to me, you are still no demon...
[SAID DESPITE FIGHTING ACROSS SO MANY CARS but it's fine listen IT'S NOT HIS FAULT SABER CAN FIGHT BACK.]
...Before I... send you off, so that your soul may be cleansed... Do you have words for others that you may wish to share...?
[ their first reaction is to want to say no, because so much of this is just wrong and they can't tell what's wrong with lucas. they think back to the memory they saw, the one where lucas said that wasn't what happened, and they have to wonder...
well. no time for that. they realize they can try something. ]
... yes. Like the others did. I wish to write a letter on my phone.
[ they pull it out of their pocket with their hand. ]
[He watches their movements carefully and closely like he's expecting some pocket sand or fungus nonsense, but when they extract their phone, he just smiles. It's such a lovely and compassionate expression! It is so deeply unfitting for the context they are both currently in.
Still, he'll incline his head after that.]
Of course... Please, go ahead.
[Just fucking puts their murder on pause to allow Saber to text out their last will and testament. True to his word, he'll stay where he is, though he's still clearly on his guard.]
okay, they will start to type this out. normally it takes them so long to write stuff out because they are bad at this, but since they are currently in a rush, rip to the people in trial who have to try to read through this typo filled mess.
once they reach the end, they will simply
toss it into the canal. they do not understand how electronics work. ]
[NOT A TYPO NOTE they are doing their best... Anyway Lucas will watch and watch and then blink, startled, as they turn to chuck their phone into the canal. He just follows it with his bleary-ass gaze.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But he also freezes as the corgi comes romping over... Oh no... Some others are coming out of their little corgi houses... Several more are also starting to flock their way over a nearby hill on their little stubby legs, barking happily, mistaking this very cool anime brawl for corgi playtime. One is even bringing over its favorite ball... Please play fetch with me right now immediately, its big ol' corgi eyes seem to say...]
...Oh... Please don't—
[COME ANY CLOSER, BUT THEY ARE. He takes a hesitating step away and glances at Saber.]
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[ they're shaking. this is so flippin' cute. this is so cute? saber wants to pet all of them so bad, but they are in the middle of a fight to the death... this is not the time, doggies.
the dog sets the ball down. saber slowly reaches down and picks it up before just
yeeting it the other side. the dogs all yip happily and chase after it. ]
Leave. We must leave.
[ RUNS OFF BEFORE THEY START CRYING ]
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I'm so sorry—!
[TO THE SWEET CORGIS WHO ARE ROMPING AWAY... Even as more start coming from a distance to try surrounding them...
BOTH OF THEM JUST FLEEING FASTLY FOR THE DOOR it's fine. GOOBY SWEET CORGIS. They cleanly escape before Saber can also leave tear evidence... And now they're in the Wild West car and Lucas immediately pulls back with a jerk as he realizes where they are.
Fortunately there are no bugs in the immediate area, though... But as he goes in for another attack as soon as they're safely away from corgis, there is such frenetic bug hatred energy in his movements.]
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saber has to leap back to avoid the hit from getting them in the neck, but it does slice the (picks randomly) bottom of their chin. sure. they just wipe at the blood before they rush off to try to create more distance between them, running for one of the buildings.
gooby ]
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Is it parkour time... They can just fucking fight around one of these buildings and knock off some shingles and break some windows and leave slashes on tables and shit. ONCE AGAIN THEY LOOK SOOO COOL AND NO ONE IS HERE TO SEE IT. Truly the biggest tragedy of this murder, everyone is missing out on witnessing a sick fight.]
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but saber will try to slash at lucas again. does it hit? does it just make him stumble back? up to you. ]
Are you afflicted?!
[ takes this long to think of asking ]
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Anyway this isn't real evidence bc no one will check but he can stumble and run into something ass-first for a fresh ass bruise bc i have a brand to maintain. REAL EVIDENCE TO FOLLOW. Though he does briefly pause in his attacks after he regains his balance and pulls his sword back up into a readying to attack posture.]
Afflicted...? Of course not... For the first time in weeks, I can finally see clearly...
[Well okay.]
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but okay. they squint at him, trying to figure out what is going on here. what he said doesn't sound like someone who doesn't have an affliction, but honestly? whether or not they can figure this out isn't really at the top of their priority list. ]
... I see. Well, I am sorry for this, Lucas.
[ they will move to attack first, but instead of trying to stab they just kick a barrel at him. there's.... bugs on it. ]
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BUT HELP!!!! Lucas reflexively moves like he's going to slash at the barrel but immediately FREEZES WHEN HE SEES IT'S COVERED IN BUGS. HE'S SO FUCKING PETRIFIED HE JUST HULK SLAMS THIS BARREL INTO THE GROUND goes to add that to evidence i guess. Also he absolutely tears up over this. Just stands there in shock staring at these bugs on the ground in paralytic fear that overrides even the Bourreau instinct. Tastee tears on the ground i hope someone tries to eat these.
AND THEN HE JUST
FUCKING BLASTS PAST SABER AT MACH FUCK.]
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huh??
there are many things saber could do right now. the main, smart thing would be to run away and escape before lucas returns to his senses. after all, the notice board pointed out all of those super useful hiding spots to use!!
unfortunately, saber is not a coward and they do not believe in running from a fight, so they are just going to run after lucas. help. get back here. ]
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HOW THE TURNS HAVE TABLED THOUGH. i guess they just run entirely through the convention car Lucas really just said wholeass FUCK those BUGS so hard that he dashed through an entire location. But once he reaches the Italy car and has perhaps run a bit, he's finally in a less ridiculously afraid state of existence and thinks to turn back around so he can finish what he started. Lucas you fool. The blood droplets he's been dripping this whole time that I keep forgetting to mention are even bigger after all that dashing, though.
Nearby, there is the canal with its gondola boats... They beckon invitingly...]
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well, right now saber has the advantage because lucas does not know that they followed after him. they wait a moment when they spot him.
...
and then just fucking charges at him to try to stab him straight through like a kebab. hello. the gondola beckons. ]
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stupidly, saber does jump into the gondola to try to stab lucas yet again. WAHOO ]
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WAHOO!! THE GONDOLA TAKES OFF. Lucas blocks the strike and goes in for another. They're like 2 of the 3 musketeers just getting into some wacky swordfighting shenanigans on the canal as their stupid little boat tips and rocks. They are probably going to put so many holes through this wood. Once again they are looking sooo cool though. Must emphasize what a tragedy it is that everyone is so asleep right now.
As they fight and make their way along the water, the arena comes into view up ahead.]
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but the fighting is getting rather intense for such a small boat... once they get close enough, their joint blows ends up cracking a giant hole into the gondola. ruh roh.
saber tries to jump out of it while also swiping at lucas. ]
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Well anyway this is fine. He dodges and almost falls into the water but manages to catch himself, but since he's busy with his balance, Saber can jump away and get some distance. LUCAS HOPS AFTER THEM.
And then just turns and picks the whole gondola up out of the water to throw it their way.]
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saber is just going to try to jump out of the way, but some of the wood hits them... owie. saber will try to slash at him again, getting lucas in the ear. ]
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HE CAN'T LET SABER GET TOO FAR FROM THE WATER OR HOW WILL THEY THROW THEIR PHONE attacks more. Though at some point he slows a bit as he considers... like... maybe he should let them get their affairs in order... Leaps back a bit to put some distance between them, though he's still keeping his blade leveled their way.]
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... do you wish to speak?
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...A peaceful passage is what I wish to give you, with no regrets... After all, to me, you are still no demon...
[SAID DESPITE FIGHTING ACROSS SO MANY CARS but it's fine listen IT'S NOT HIS FAULT SABER CAN FIGHT BACK.]
...Before I... send you off, so that your soul may be cleansed... Do you have words for others that you may wish to share...?
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well. no time for that. they realize they can try something. ]
... yes. Like the others did. I wish to write a letter on my phone.
[ they pull it out of their pocket with their hand. ]
That is fine?
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Still, he'll incline his head after that.]
Of course... Please, go ahead.
[Just fucking puts their murder on pause to allow Saber to text out their last will and testament. True to his word, he'll stay where he is, though he's still clearly on his guard.]
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okay, they will start to type this out. normally it takes them so long to write stuff out because they are bad at this, but since they are currently in a rush, rip to the people in trial who have to try to read through this typo filled mess.
once they reach the end, they will simply
toss it into the canal. they do not understand how electronics work. ]
1/2
Oh.
[HE ALSO DOESN'T KNOW HOW ELECTRONICS WORK.]
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